The Last Airbender

Hey Kids!

I must say that I am deeply upset...no I'm pissed..I'm just gonna keep it real...I AM PIIIIISSSSSEEEDDDD!!!!!

The Last Airbender was suppose to be my biggest movie of the summer and instead it ended up being my biggest let down of the summer. M. Night I promise you I am gonna smack your face if I ever get the opportunity to meet you in person. You ruined this beautiful story and classic cartoon with this hideous big screen adaptation. I know your kids are pissed at you too since they are the reason you decided to make this movie.

Any true fan of Avatar: the last Airbender the cartoon is going to HATE I repeat HATE this movie. They couldn't even be bothered to pronounce the names correctly! And another thing...the cast is suppose to be ASIANS not whites and Asian Indians. Now I will excuse the Asian Indian casting because I think M. Night was just looking out for his people and friends for once...BUT I DO NOT GET the casting of AANG and the other two leads...I mean "Jasper" from Twilight is casted as Soka...and some no talent little girl is suppose to be the FIERCE Katarra! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!

I am not even going to give this movie the satisfication of having a completed and full review. I'm going to stop there. And M. Night if you make the second movie a hot piece of trashy mess like this one...I PROMISE you I'm going to do everything in my power...I will stop there.

HATED IT!!!

Two snaps wwwaaaay DOWN!!!

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Hey Kids!

Ok I know this review is a little late...but I know you all will forgive me, right? (crickets)...Ok well moving on. Now The third film in the Twilight Saga has come out and there are two things that I definitely now know. The first, I am NOT a Twi-Hard. Now don't get me wrong I thoroughly enjoyed the books and I like the movies but I'm not all that invested in them like some people (rolling eyes at the big chick screaming at the different trailers on youtube). The Second, I think I'm on the fence when it comes to this whole Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. Now before you get all crazy and start throwing little hissy fits let me explain. In this particular movie you see a lot more of the attraction that Bella has for both Edward and Jacob. (And by the way I HATE BELLA! I DO NOT understand why these two guys are fighting over her and while everyone is risking their lives to save her.) But any way I digress, The third film shows that its time for Bella to make her decision. Is she gonna keep putting herself and others in danger because she likes to have her cake and eat it too. And the crazy thing is once she finally admits to herself that she has been leading Jacob on and she does actually love him more than in a friendly way. She ends up being more confused than ever. I guess Edward shouldn't of let Jacob sleep in the tent with him and Bella. Speaking of tent maybe it was just me but I was getting a big homoerotic vibe from the direction they were taking that Edward/Jacob confession scene. I mean it was like they were trying to channel Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal and Broke back Mountain.

And Twi-hards before you try to get me kicked off blogger calm down. I am not saying that they are gay I am just saying that that scene got me a little more excited than I am sure it meant too (me and the rest of the gays!). Maybe its because I kept thinking how much MORE fun it would of been in the tent if Bella WASN'T there!!!!

Now as far as what's going on in the movie basically, (without actually telling the movie) something is happening in Seattle and it all leads up to a big showdown at the end of the movie. The wolves and Cullens decide to bury their treaty terms they have with each other in order to save Bella and their selective towns.

This book was probably my favorite out of the series and it is because a lot of the back stories are explained...like how the wolves came into existence and why the "army" is being created. The flashbacks were the parts I was looking the most forward to seeing in this movie and sadly they let me down! Only because they didn't go as in depth as they should have and it all just seemed RUSHED!!!! And sadly to those of you that are going to see this or have seen this and haven't read the books you will be missing out on what I think are the best stories in the entire SERIES!!!

Victoria is back and in case you didn't know they replaced Victoria (Rachelle Leferve) from the first and second movie with a more well known actress, Bryce Dallas Howard, who I know from movies such as "Terminator Salvation", "Spider Man 3" and "The Village". She does a good job and we are suppose to hate her and can't wait for her to finally be "deposed of" and she does a great job of making us want that. My sources tell me that Rachelle was replaced due to scheduling conflicts. And this is what I have to say about to Rachelle about that...Rachelle sweetie you did an effing show! You let the shooting schedule of a movie that NO ONE and I repeat NO ONE will probably see, get you replaced on what was to be not only your shining moment in the series but also the highest grossing film of your career!!! Wow!

And moving on...

I will say this Taylor Lautner's Acting is A LOT better in this movie. But I mean honestly who was really paying attention to his acting in the last movie...So I guess its safe to say that while hitting the gym he also made time to take some acting lessons. And because of his age during the time "New Moon" came out I didn't feel comfortable commenting on how HOT! He looks in these movies (that is when he doesn't have that hideous wig on). Speaking of wigs, Whoever is in charge of hair and make-up needs to be FIRED! The wigs that they keep putting on the Cullens are HORRIBLE! And why do they have them looking so sloppy pasty. I mean I know they are vampires and all but Lord their makeup looked like a kindergarten class took some white paint and just had a field day with all of them.

Put Taylor you're 18 now so that means I can say how I really feel and I would like to say...You know I think I will still leave those comments to myself I mean this is suppose to be a family friendly review, right? (blank stare)

Robert Pattinson is the reason I think I am on the fence for Team Edward and Team Jacob. He is gorgeous! I mean he really has a very handsome face and presence. And I have a love/hate relationship with him right now and his relationship with Bella. I mean yes he is a bit controlling...but hey that's what Bella is into. And he is soo protective of her and to me that is just so HOT! I mean that is true love right? I remember my father telling me once when I was younger and I asked him how you know when you're in love with someone and he responded "When you're willing to die for someone that's how you know you really and truly love them"! So I guess Edward and Bella are the real deal because She is also willing to die for him (she proved that in the second movie). And by the way my parents have been married almost 30 years...So I guess my dad knows what he's talking about with the true love.

Kristen Stewart is a good actress. We can hate on her all we want but she is a good actress. And in these movies, especially this one. She proves that. And I didn't notice her biting her lip that much in this one so that was good. But the main reason I say she is a good actress is because she manages to bring Bella to life from the books. While reading the books I couldn't stand Bella and kinda of secretly hope she would die. And in the movies I feel the EXACT same way! LOL

My favorite character in the books are Emmett. He is the one that I would of been chasing after not Edward and Jacob. And with Kellan Lutz as Emmett in the movies I stand by this. He is super HOT and I wish they would give him some scenes where he has to take his shirt off. To show Mr. Black what a grown man's abs and body is suppose to look like. I wonder if Summitt Entertainment has received my petition on giving Kellan more scene time in the last two films?

Now these movies are not made for the movie goer or movie buff with a more sophisticated taste or palette. There isn't any real cinematography or dialogue that's worth noting. These movies are made for two reasons 1. For the fans! 2. To Make a HELL of A LOT of money. So far this movie has made $559,000,000 worldwide! Yes you read that correctly. And the kicker is that it only costs 68 million to make this last movie.

Go see this movie if you are a fan of the books and other two movies. Those of you that are fans of this particular book do not be surprised if you don't like the movie as much as you would hope. But I still think you should see it. If you are just completely sick of vampires and werewolves than DO NOT go see this. Wait and go see the new movie "Vampires Suck!", which is sure to be HIGHLIRIOUS and a good spoof of these movies.

~Verdict~

Two snaps up and Dakota Fanning you are FIERCE as JANE!!!

Loved it!

Inception

Hey Kids!


Ok so I saw Inception...and...well...it was good, interesting, entertaining, confusing, debatable and a big prank and all that was just the ending!!!! The best thing about this movie is that once its over you are definitely gonna want to talk about it with someone, so make sure you go see it with someone. I am glad that I did. I saw this with my good buddy Jorge! And so that I can provide an accurate review without ruining the movie, Jorge is going to be my guest this week.

Michael: Say Hello Jorge!

Jorge: Hey fellow movie watcher/online reader!

Michael: Umm I see you used a single tense. You think I only have one reader or follower for my blog? SMH, Gee thanks for the support buddy!

Jorge: Oh no dear not at all. I know you have millions of virtual simulated fans (bots) world wide! Now lets extract our thoughts on this film!


Michael: Now this movie was one of those movies that people will definitely want to discuss once its over. I know you and I had a several questions that needed to be answered after we finished seeing it (well you had more questions than I did and I am just happy that I was able to provide an answer).

Jorge: Your right Michael, it does take awhile to really understand this new way of thinking the film is throwing at us. This is a new idea that we haven’t really seen before, so a open mind is very necessary. This is not a movie you can fully understand without really paying attention. It’s like a class lesson being taught by a teacher with a heavy accent. So tell the heavy snack muncher next to you to stop smacking and let the popcorn dissolve in their mouth…..Like as if you want a good grade on this!

Michael: Well it’s definitely one you have to pay attention too. So if you are one of those movie watchers who have to constantly be checking your phone or getting up and walking out to use the bathroom or get a refill on that stale popcorn and flat coke you paid 15.00 for…you’re gonna be LOST!!!

Michael: This movie is about people who enter people’s dreams to steal their secrets. I love the concept because it is soooo original and that has seriously been lacking in Hollywood lately. It stars a great cast, Leonardo Di Caprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanbe, and Marion Cotillard. Now you know I have to mention the actors that I found to be the most attractive in this movie.

Jorge: I have to say I really enjoyed everybody in this cast. Every character was well fleshed out with unique personalities. Leo never disappoints (Shia LaBeouf take notes chile), bordering between loving father, extraction genius and tormented husband. Joseph G-Levitt played a great believable friend and sidekick (I think he’s extremely underrated loved him in “500 Days Of Summer”). Hell even Ellen Page was likeable and had a good supporting role – (and to think she made me wanna dispense contraceptives to all my friends after Juno.) Michael Cain continues to show us that he has mastered playing his most recognizable character – Old.
I honestly didn’t know any of the other cast from anything else but they worked well together….thumbs up to the casting agent! (Why didn’t they hire you for Avatar?)

Michael: Chile don’t even get me started on the casting for Avatar (that review is coming soon). And yes Leo is fab like always and you know until this movie I didn’t realize how handsome he is. I mean he really wears suits quite well. Yes and Joseph is exceptionally underrated…I love him as King Cobra in the GI Joe movie! And Ellen Page was MUCH better in this movie. I think she needs to stick with roles like this from now on…you know were she is a genius college student and not a pregnant 16 year old trying to channel Virginia Wolfe, Emily Dickens or some other female literary icon. And Michael is a legend so leave him ALONE. I still can’t believe you don’t know who Marion Cotillard is. I mean she has been in some really good movies, like Public Enemies, Big Fish, Nine (well this one wasn’t a good one). She is an actress who I can honestly say I am becoming a fan of. Now to me the breakout star in this movie is Tom Hardy. That is a delicious English Muffin! He has the prettiest lips I’ve seen on an actor in a long time. He hasn’t really been in any note worthy films. So this is like his big break.

Jorge: Yeah I noticed you sippin on that straw a little too hard during his scenes….(I know who’s dreams you would be flocking in). I will say that he was a fresh face that I welcomed. I also have to give credit to Cillian Murphy (who you snubbed I see), he usually creeps me out just by giving a straight face….but as always continues to deliver in this film as Robert Fisher Jr aka “the guy who’s dreams we need to get into”. He is another actor who is underrated, would love to see more from him. Oh and Marion was good too….but I did get tired of her character popping up all the damn time. I wanna elaborate on that more but it would only spoil the movie.

Michael: Now the movie is getting great reviews from both movie goers and critics. And there are now several websites and blogs dedicated to the discussion of the ending of this movie. If you are interested in seeing this movie DO NOT go to those sites until after you have seen the movie. Because you definitely need to go in with an open clear mind like Jorge Suggested. Now Jorge would you recommend this movie and who would you recommend to go see it?

Jorge: I would definitely recommend that people go see it. If you’re a fan of movies like The Matrix, Memento or even Shutter Island I would say check it out. It runs about 2 ½ hours but you are so busy taking notes on your crash course in learning the Inception/extraction process you don’t even see the first hour or so fly by (I was entertained). The second half of the movie has all the action and will full your lungs up with plenty of lead, explosions and scene/dream hopping. At the end you’ll feel like you fell into a 2 hour dream state as you recall everything you just saw.

The movie opens up some very good questions about our humanity, escapism and its variations. Its something we all do through in various forms…but when is it too much? (is it ever too much)?

I give it 4 out of 5 stars – we need more movies like this – movies that are complex, original, well cast and extremely entertaining. The movie states that “we only use 20% of our brains” when we are awake….lately Hollywood seems to be only using that much to create film concepts, leaving me wanting to fall asleep to be fully entertained.

Michael: Well I don’t know about you but my dreams are VERY entertaining! Thank you Jorge for your wonderful and enlightening critique of the movie. I am sure my "1 follower and 1 reader" will appreciate your input and insight (I should smack you across the face for that…you better be glad I love you with the Love of Jesus!)…this movie is well worth the ticket price. If you are looking for a good movie to give you an excuse to get out of this summer heat…this is a good one to go see. Especially for those of you who aren’t really interested in seeing current popular adaptations that are being over run by screaming teenagers!

~Verdict~

Two snaps up and Tom Hardy you can invade my dreams anytime!

Loved IT!!!!!